


Gone

by AnimeNerd666 (CrystalNavy)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28204011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalNavy/pseuds/AnimeNerd666
Summary: Grief is more crippling than any physical blow or sickness. It destroys you from the inside, slowly but surely.
Relationships: Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Gone

It all started on a warm summer day.

We were preparing for our big test. 

I suppose I should have seen this coming. It was a bit of a tradition that weak ones would be bullied by stronger ones.

And I was no exception. 

I lay there, beaten and in pain, when he offered me a hand.

"Don't mind what they say." he told me "I think loyalty is important too. Other qualities may prove short, but as long as loyalty never wavers, success is all but guaranteed."

"You..." I stared at him in disbelief "You don't think I am weak?"

"Weakness is all about perspective." he said "I too, am weak, if you look at it from certain angle. But I make up for it with other strengths. And really, isn't that a purpose of the team? To help overcome their teammates' shortcomings with their own strengths?"

"I don't think you're weak." I blurted out honestly 

He didn't have to say anything. His smile said it all.

"I am Bertolt. Bertolt Hoover." he offered me his hand "But friends call me Bertl."

"Friends, then?" I asked hopefully

"Friends." he said firmly

Then he laughed. I loved the sound of him laughing.

-x-

From then on, we were inseparable. Wherever I went, Bertolt would follow.

Whatever I decided, Bertolt would respect my decision without objections.

His inability to think for himself frustrated me.

No, it worried me.

I was worried my decisions would lead him to his doom one day.

That I would lose the only person who was there for me when no one else was.

Years passed, and Bertolt remained a constant in my life.

He was always by my side, watching over me.

When my mind was split, he made small, worried, hums, thinking I couldn't hear.

That made me feel like the worst person imaginable.

He was genuinely worried about me, while I only wanted him to stay beside me for my own sake rather than his.

-x-

He was always there for me, when no one else was.

He saw past my facade when no one else did. He knew the real me, and he cared.

He was one of a kind.

And now he is gone.

He was there for me since we were kids, yet I was unable to do the same for him.

I wasn't able to help him when he needed it the most.

He died. He died while I did nothing.

He was eaten while I let myself be carried to safety.

Bertolt was wrong. I was weak. 

Too weak to save him.

And now...all that's left for me to do is to join him.

I place the barrel of the gun into my mouth.

I get ready to pull the trigger.

A sound of a fist hitting the wall catches my attention.

I look up and see Bertolt standing in front of me.

"Don't you dare give up." he says "I may be gone, but you have to be there for the new generation, as I was there for you."

"That's right." I pull the barrel out of my mouth "I still have them."

Bertolt smiles that smile of his one last time, before he's gone for good.

"That's right." I thought "Even when you're dead, you were still there for me one final time. Now it's my turn to be there for those who need it."

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. Sorry if it was too cheesy, but episode 3 gave me feels.


End file.
